Love is an intense feeling that can be confusing and overwhelming. There are many things to consider when navigating love, including how it works and what it means. Understanding the distinction between love and desire can be advantageous you make informed decisions in your relationships.
There are three primary stages of romantic love: lust, attraction, and attachment, according to biological anthropologist Helen Fisher at Rutgers University. In each phase, the brain releases hormones that stimulate feelings in the body and mind.
Lust
During the lust phase, the hormones testosterone in men and estrogen in women are released. The evolutionary need to find and reproduce with potential mating partners drives hormonal release. This hormone causes the libido, the desire for sexual gratification. The lust phase also produces pheromones, odorless chemicals that stimulate the senses and initiate initial desires. They can be picked up by the nose and released to other people, helping to trigger a sex drive.
Attraction
In the second romantic love stage, we obsess about our lovers and feel extra energy and excitement as we fantasize about them. We may also get sweaty palms and a racing heart. These feelings are caused by three hormones, norepinephrine, dopamine, and serotonin.
Attachment
During the attachment phase, the pituitary gland releases vasopressin in both men and women. The hormone promotes pair bonding and long-term relationships. It may also help tame more promiscuous individuals, making them less likely to seek out another person and have sex with them. This hormone also helps us develop a close relationship by making us want to spend time with our partners, talk to them about their problems and build trust. While the attachment phase isn’t always long-lasting, it’s a common trait of some long-term relationships. However, it is essential to note that building a strong bond with your partner takes a lot of work and commitment. If you feel like you’re in the attachment stage, take some time out and think about the feelings you’re experiencing. This will help you evaluate whether or not the feeling is coming from a healthy place. You’ll also be able to see if your relationship is moving forward or slowing down. For example, if you see a decrease in the amount of time you spend together, it might be a sign that your attraction level is changing.
Relationship Test
If your partnership is brand-new, it’s easy to wonder whether or not you’re feeling lust or love toward your partner. Of course, it’s common to experience both, but the desire is usually more intense.
Ultimately, the choice is entirely up to you which one you prefer. You may be tempted to choose love over lust, but it’s important to remember that these two emotions are entirely separate and cannot be judged against each other. There’s no way to predict what steps will lead to love or whether or not a relationship will progress from lust to love, but knowing the differences can help you navigate relationships more effectively. As a result, you can prioritize your goals and interests and navigate the process of forming a relationship with greater clarity, ease, and confidence.
